Hoping To Inspire You . . .

I wanna see you flying high in the clouds,
Where achievement and success have no bounds,
Yo poses a mind as beautiful as a flower and the truth is, I just want to nurture it,
See it grow from the roots and produce in abundance,
We both have fears but, with the belief in one another, from one another we can overcome them,
I truely believe that we can do that together,
I'm tryna further our longevity and reach for forever,
I look at your mind and it leaves me in amazement,
How you pick up the most simple English words and arrange them,
You're beauty is innate yet so are your flaws,
Our struggle is that I want things my way but, you want things yours,
There's things I want to say but, I don't speak on like I use to,
When I speak you say - its just cheese.
I want to better you and for you to better me,

You aint a victim, you just situate yourself that way sometimes,

No one can get through to you and you don't make it easy on yourself,
You say you can't change cause, you was born this way,
I'm not asking for a change i'm just saying "maintain."
With your mom and pops; I think they raised you up great,
I just you're inspired by this take.

"I love you though, I love you."

It's Been Too Long & I'm Lost Without You . . . .

I’m supposed to be doing work right now but, memories from the past and these tears are making it really hard for me. As usual, I don’t know how to talk to people about my issues so I write them down instead. I suppose its cause this way I don’t have to feel like I’m actually display my emotions upfront in front of a person. I’ve switched my BB off. I don’t really feel like talking at all. I’m just going to write whatever comes out of my heart. No edits. No alterations.

Dear Sunday Apasubi Omonfomah,

I used to think I hated you for all the things you did to my mum. The way you brought other women home, slept outside and abused her for standing up for herself. I swore to myself that I’d never be like you, no matter what it took from me but everyday that goes by, I find myself shaping more and more into the person you were. I know each man is in control of his/her own destiny but, why am I following your footsteps as I’m trying and make my own? The age of 17, I think was the age I needed you the most and you weren’t there. (Dad you’re making me cry as I write this in the library) With all my heart I love her for what she has been for me but, my mother can’t teach me how to be a man. That’s what you were meant to fulfil. And you didn’t. I made HUGE mistakes in the act of becoming a man.

I DON’T HATE YOU! I want you to know that I LOVE YOU. I just wish you could have stayed longer and I really can’t understand why God would want to take Oni, Oseremen, Osemudiamen & Eromosele’s father away from them. I know you never chose to die and I know you never meant to leave us fatherless. I hope your soul is heaven and I hope we all meet there again someday. Till that day, I’m going to think about you and make you proud.

Till then....

Bitter Truth (Alone) . . .

I don't give you the time that you deserve me....

I tell you that I care about you but in my actions towards you I'm filthy....

I pick you up when I feel that it best suits me....

And the only time I wanna see you it's only cah I wanna get some booty....

You tell me all the time that you miss me. I say it back but my actions always contradict me....

I'm guilty of 'taking the piss' on all counts of your judgment....

And half the time when we speak on the phone, all I do is chat nonsense....

You always tell me that I don't take you seriously....

And when you ask to know how I feel for you, I make it seem like a mystery....

You ask yourself why you're even here....

I ask myself how does she even put up with me....

I say I don't deserve someone half as good as you....

But you know my chemistry with words make me pharmaceutical ....

You warn me all the time about the way that I treat you....

I boast that my skills in bed will always keep you...

I guess it safe to say I'm too comfortable....

I'm always making it known that I've got other girls around....

But then I tell you that I don't wanna see any one else around you....

I'm selfish, unjust, dishonest and disloyal towards you...

I do things that I know I shouldn't do to you...

You asked me if I care and my reply was "of course I care"....

"Kelvin this shit that you're doing aint fair"....

When the lights no longer shine upon me, and the shade of darkness that I once clowned becomes my home....

You told me that, that's the moment that I'll feel what I've made you to feel - "ALONE."

If I Told You . . .

[This is about how impeded a girl can make a guy feel.]

If I told you that you was the only girl that I showed interest in,
Would you believe me, or convict me of having being a player and having other 'tings?'
If I told you that it wasn't bars/lyrics/game you're hearing when I speak,
Would you believe me or impale my genuine attempt to show you the things I feel,
But can I blame you for protecting yourself from what every human being is a immune to - heartache/bullshit.
No I can't. . .
If I told you that I wanted to be with you and you only,
Would you keep me waiting in vain for a response,
If I told you that I've changed from my impetuous ways and no longer am I the same guy who played those games,
Would it make a difference, or would you stay persistent in your decision to not listen to my petition,
With all honesty, I truly believe you are the 'something' that I've been missing,
But somehow we just can't seem to advance from this current position,
You're impenetrable . . . .
But it's permeable that if I persevere in my attempt to show you something genuinely special,
You might let me dissolve into your blood stream,
From which I'd flow my way through the inner passage ways of your anatomy,
Until I finally ended up in your heart's chambers,
Where I'd rest and say - YES! I MADE IT!
If I told you that I gaze at your window through my window pane,
Hoping that you could hear my perching heart as it throws stones of youthful infatuation against your window pane,
Would you believe me?
If I let you in on all my flaws and imperfections, would you work it out with me or up and leave me?